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I could even imagine them blaming my son and "warning" other parents about him, spreading what should be very private information. We agree that if he had sworn he wouldn't do something like this again we would not have stopped letting him have sleepovers and such, so we do not want to punish him for honesty.ĭoes anyone have any insight for us? What should we do? Are we being altogether too liberal about this? Should we tell the other boy's parents? I really hate to tell them because we could imagine them overreacting and I would hate to be the cause of lots of grief for DS's friend. We don't want to come down too hard on him because we fear that we could make him ashamed of his sexuality, which we suspect screws more people up than touching another boy's privates. We are worried this will lead to more risky sexual behavior. We are not worried this will cause any psychological damage. We would prefer our son not share his sexuality with anyone else, but we really don't care if he experiments with his friends. We seem to have the same attitude, which we are willing to rethink.
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I told him we would have to discuss it more later.ĭW has come home since and I told her everything, and the two of us still do not know how to proceed. He seemed more honest than defiant, I think trying to determine whether I was making it a serious rule. (This is not the first time where he has been so open and honest as to make us uncomfortable we take this as a good sign!) Finally he told me that he would be continuing to do this if possible. He answered my questions seemingly truthfully and expressed the various feelings and thoughts and desires he was having in perhaps-excessive detail. I took him up to his room (so we could speak more privately, since DD was also home) and told him that I wasn't angry, that he should not be ashamed, that I wanted him to stop doing this and continue being private in what he does about his sexuality, and that I wanted him always to be able to talk to me about anything.įor his part, he was clearly willing to talk to me. I ask where the friend is and am told he went home (a couple blocks, he's allowed to go alone, although he left his stuff from sleeping over last night). Everyone was embarrassed and surprised, but I tried not to show it and told them to come meet me in the living room, giving them a chance to get decent and calm down a little bit.Ī few long minutes later my son shuffles in, blushing and staring at the floor. Forgive me if I'm rambling a bit.Įarlier today I was taking a box of Christmas decorations out to the garage and when I entered, I discovered my 11 year old son and his friend with their pants down, performing mutual masturbation on each other.
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I do not seek to create a replica of my father, but a version of his desires and problems that is real.I am a regular poster here, but I decided to post this anonymously because I've mentioned who I am on my normal account and this is of a somewhat personal nature. I have tried to make a portrait of him that is filled with love but not sentimental or afraid to show his selfishness. While his illness came only five years later, he'd tire all of us out with all the things he wanted to do. While he was very shy as a young person, and he was deferring and self-sacrificing through his adult life, he exposed himself to risk over and over at the end - he risked by coming out to me, my sisters and his friends by trying to catch up with the contemporary gay social scene and, most of all, by falling in love. Having hidden from the gay world for his whole life he was, at 75, like a teenager: anxious and excited to join, naive about all the cues of gay culture, and very susceptible to the emotional upheavals of new love. Even as he passed away five years later to cancer, he was energized, reaching out he wasn't in any way finished. Change, honesty, and openness can happen when it seems least likely. His hunger to completely change his life was confusing, painful, very funny, and deeply inspiring. He was 75 years old and had been married to my mother for 45 years. " Beginners started when my father came out of the closet.